No word for “please”

On a warm summer day running alongside Ribban, the path that is shared between pedestrians and cyclists gets quite busy. And as a runner, I am never quite sure where on the path I should run. In the pedestrian lane, I am the fastest, and in the cycle lane, I am nearly the slowest. There are also people roller-skating along there; I think they have the same problem.

My decision is to run close to the white dividing line between the cyclists and pedestrians, on the pedestrian side. I am fairly sure in that position, there won’t be any pedestrians stepping into my path, and I should be able to keep my swerves to a minimum.

On the day in question, I was running along quite nicely on a straight and predictable course when all of a sudden I felt a cyclist looming up. Riding on a flat straight path towards me, but in the cycle lane, he had lost concentration, veered over the white line, and nearly crashed into me. My reflexes made me side-step away, and a crash was avoided. A sore hamstring wasn’t avoided, however.

I am British, so my reaction should have been to say Sorry. Even when it is the other person that is to blame when two people bump into each other, it is usual in Britain for both parties to apologise. Well, I have been in Sweden for a few years now, and that (ridiculous) level of politeness seems to have disappeared. In Sweden, the convention is for no-one to apologise. I shouted “Idiot!” in his direction, and a few other words under my breath, but he continued straight on.

I often try to make eye contact, and even say hello to other runners when I’m out. It almost never happens that the other person makes eye contact with me, and even more rare that they respond in any way at all to my nod of my head, smile, or “Hej!”.

The Swedes of course have the reputation for being cold people in a cold country, and to some extent that is true (although, see this previous post). The difference in levels of politeness between the UK and Sweden is one way this manifests itself. And yes, there is no word for “please” in the Swedish language.

The next day, running a different route, I saw a young boy, maybe 11 years old, running by himself in my direction. He was wearing the local football club’s shirt, and I assume that he was either running to football practice, or he was doing some extra fitness training. It didn’t enter my head that a 42-year old man should say acknowledge such a young runner, so I looked his way, but didn’t say Hello. Imagine my surprise, when it was he who said Hello to me.

Faith in humanity restored.